IMPORTANT INGREDIENTS NEEDED FOR SUCCESSFUL HOME

Some important ingredients needed for the success of Christian Homes. Rom.12:5 – So we, being many, are one body in Christ, and every one members one of another

·        Believes are of one flesh and blood belonging to one tribe, under the same roof, heading for the same destination

·        Just as one would correct, discipline, teach or report an erring small sister to the parents, without ever thinking of chasing her out, so must be our relationship in marriage

·        Your partner is your Spiritual blood relation which supersedes mere flesh and blood family formation

·        To have and to hold – To have may be stage-managed, holding is demanding and calls for unending adjustment – 2Pet.1:5-8

·        Time element – The best of soups require time for the various ingredients to blend properly. If we honestly refuse to quit, there is enough energy behind every Christ centered home to overcome any obstacle.

       I.            a) Human difficulty – The Bible points again and again  to the headship of the man in a Christian home setting

·        Playing the second fiddle is very demanding

·        No matter how smart, views have to be submitted

·        No matter how strong, the husband has to lead

·        No matter how frightened, he wants to call the shot

b)       Christian forgiveness – unforgiveness is likened to the umbilical chord that must be cut off; carbon dioxide that must be expelled; the bile – that would destroy the whole meat if retained. It opens one’s life to tormentors. Mtt.18:34. 

c)        Wrong Expectations – One of the biggest challenge to our homes is the unrealistic expectations which should have been realizable if Adam had not sinned

·        Always around to baby sit me

·        Around the kitchen, when I am cooking

·        Going with me to toilet

·        Reliable provider of all good things of life

·        Choice kids coming effortlessly

·        Kids in the best of schools

·        A sure defender, listener, protector and sympathizer – Heb.12:2

The rock that never fails is Christ, only a foolish runner does not plan for bends, and only the Omnipotent can be there for us always, no one else.

d)       Expectations from men – while many men care less on meeting their spouses expectations, they are very rigid with their wives performance

·        Never to grow old, always smart like when in courtship

·        Cooking with firewood yet must smell good

·        Cleaning up nappies yet must be gay

·        Given little but expected to do much

·        In great labour pains yet expected to smile

A wise man will do all necessary to harness the capabilities of these creature of wonders, human comforter, mother to baby and father, manager of resources, defender and supporter.

   II.            Winning ways – Listed are some practices that help families patterned after Christ, to excel.

·        Marital Satisfaction – while realizing that only Christ can satisfy willing hearts, it is timely to mention that “The greatest satisfaction comes from providing satisfaction for one’s partner – Ph. 2:4-7”. Turning any aspect of our marriage obligations into a weapon will only attract a return match, be it income, sex, relations, dependants, in-laws etc. Each family must come up with their own methods of getting things done and accomplished, such as – money management; house helps; projects; anti-quarrelling provisions etc.

·        Avoiding Winner takes all – It is ungodly for one to claim one is married to the spouse only. In-laws, friends, acquaintances are all part of the equation, if one would ever have lasting peace. Long throat must be avoided at all cost (Ruth 1:12-16)

·        Many women are empire builders (Territory Seekers)

·        Not a few are possessive and chases away suspected intruders

·        Many don’t know how to manage institution – like-spouses (MD; President; Finance Minister etc) – Drying woman

III.            The Place of Liberty – Liberty is one of the greatest bestowal on human beings. Nobody including Junior loves being over monitored and controlled. It is a negative practice for one to have nothing do with anyone except the spouse.

·        Couples who work together

·        Rate of divorce among Retirees

·        Affection after a short separation

·        The prodigal son’s father’s embrace – Lk.15:20

The way out of this is to study the spouse, give enough existential space for beingness, develop time consuming hobbies and try to associate on demand – at times. No partner has the power to preserve his partner but we have one that watches over our soul – Pro.21:1

 IV.            Flowing Together – The power in unity is unfattomable, no wonder our God said ‘Father keep them one – John 17:11

·        Spartan soldiers watch one another’s backs

·        Use all under your roof – Garry

·        Redistribute family routines

·        Have regular family briefing and meeting

·        Remain honest to one another

·        Learn and keep learning about the home

It is through Godly wisdom that any Christian Home can stand – Prov.24:3

    V.            Helpful hints – There’s no Almighty formula for issues in the home, however below are some helpful suggestions :

·        1.   Accept your differences, engage those that can be worked upon and square up with the rest prayerfully

·        You must talk together, your dreams, fears, aspirations, must be laid bare.

·      2.  Learn to apologize and be excited to forgive completely, the offence notwithstanding. (The Comm. Wife) Never go to sleep angry

·        3.     Treat in-laws with deep respect, no matter their statues and limitations

·        4.     Pray daily for the homes well-being, end each day as much as possible in embrace and prophetic utterances

·        5.     Remember the home is a project that must succeed to the glory of the Lord.