Some
important ingredients needed for the success of Christian Homes. Rom.12:5 – So
we, being many, are one body in Christ, and every one members one of another
·
Believes are
of one flesh and blood belonging to one tribe, under the same roof, heading for
the same destination
·
Just as one
would correct, discipline, teach or report an erring small sister to the
parents, without ever thinking of chasing her out, so must be our relationship
in marriage
·
Your partner
is your Spiritual blood relation which supersedes mere flesh and blood family
formation
·
To have and
to hold – To have may be stage-managed, holding is demanding and calls for
unending adjustment – 2Pet.1:5-8
·
Time element
– The best of soups require time for the various ingredients to blend properly.
If we honestly refuse to quit, there is enough energy behind every Christ centered
home to overcome any obstacle.
I.
a) Human
difficulty – The Bible points again and again
to the headship of the man in a Christian home setting
·
Playing the second
fiddle is very demanding
·
No matter
how smart, views have to be submitted
·
No matter
how strong, the husband has to lead
·
No matter
how frightened, he wants to call the shot
b) Christian
forgiveness – unforgiveness is likened to the umbilical chord that must be cut
off; carbon dioxide that must be expelled; the bile – that would destroy the
whole meat if retained. It opens one’s life to tormentors. Mtt.18:34.
c) Wrong Expectations
– One of the biggest challenge to our homes is the unrealistic expectations
which should have been realizable if Adam had not sinned
·
Always
around to baby sit me
·
Around the
kitchen, when I am cooking
·
Going with
me to toilet
·
Reliable
provider of all good things of life
·
Choice kids
coming effortlessly
·
Kids in the
best of schools
·
A sure
defender, listener, protector and sympathizer – Heb.12:2
The rock that never fails is Christ, only a foolish runner does
not plan for bends, and only the Omnipotent can be there for us always, no one
else.
d) Expectations from
men – while many men care less on meeting their spouses expectations, they are
very rigid with their wives performance
·
Never to
grow old, always smart like when in courtship
·
Cooking with
firewood yet must smell good
·
Cleaning up
nappies yet must be gay
·
Given little
but expected to do much
·
In great
labour pains yet expected to smile
A wise man will do all necessary to harness the capabilities of
these creature of wonders, human comforter, mother to baby and father, manager
of resources, defender and supporter.
II.
Winning ways
– Listed are some practices that help families patterned after Christ, to
excel.
·
Marital
Satisfaction – while realizing that only Christ can satisfy willing hearts, it
is timely to mention that “The greatest satisfaction comes from providing
satisfaction for one’s partner – Ph. 2:4-7”. Turning any aspect of our marriage
obligations into a weapon will only attract a return match, be it income, sex,
relations, dependants, in-laws etc. Each family must come up with their own
methods of getting things done and accomplished, such as – money management;
house helps; projects; anti-quarrelling provisions etc.
·
Avoiding
Winner takes all – It is ungodly for one to claim one is married to the spouse
only. In-laws, friends, acquaintances are all part of the equation, if one
would ever have lasting peace. Long throat must be avoided at all cost (Ruth
1:12-16)
·
Many women
are empire builders (Territory Seekers)
·
Not a few
are possessive and chases away suspected intruders
·
Many don’t
know how to manage institution – like-spouses (MD; President; Finance Minister
etc) – Drying woman
III.
The Place of
Liberty – Liberty is one of the greatest bestowal on human beings. Nobody
including Junior loves being over monitored and controlled. It is a negative
practice for one to have nothing do with anyone except the spouse.
·
Couples who
work together
·
Rate of
divorce among Retirees
·
Affection
after a short separation
·
The prodigal
son’s father’s embrace – Lk.15:20
The way out of this is to study the spouse, give enough
existential space for beingness, develop time consuming hobbies and try to associate
on demand – at times. No partner has the power to preserve his partner but we
have one that watches over our soul – Pro.21:1
IV.
Flowing
Together – The power in unity is unfattomable, no wonder our God said ‘Father
keep them one – John 17:11
·
Spartan
soldiers watch one another’s backs
·
Use all
under your roof – Garry
·
Redistribute
family routines
·
Have regular
family briefing and meeting
·
Remain
honest to one another
·
Learn and
keep learning about the home
It is through Godly wisdom that any Christian Home can stand –
Prov.24:3
V.
Helpful
hints – There’s no Almighty formula for issues in the home, however below are
some helpful suggestions :
·
1. Accept your
differences, engage those that can be worked upon and square up with the rest
prayerfully
·
You must
talk together, your dreams, fears, aspirations, must be laid bare.
· 2. Learn to
apologize and be excited to forgive completely, the offence notwithstanding.
(The Comm. Wife) Never go to sleep angry
·
3. Treat in-laws
with deep respect, no matter their statues and limitations
·
4. Pray daily
for the homes well-being, end each day as much as possible in embrace and
prophetic utterances
·
5. Remember the
home is a project that must succeed to the glory of the Lord.